Today started out like any other day. I had an Analytics quiz & soo much work to do after that quiz but tonight was the night of a staple Auburn event so all of that had to be put to the side. I studied a little for my exam the next day here and there but most of my day was spent getting ready. At about 6, I was ready to slay and have a blast with my man (who would be late due to a late lab) and dance the night away. Lord knows I needed a night out…or so I thought.
I arrive at the event with a friend of mine and everything is so beautiful. It was like a dream from which I was abruptly awoken from. I saw a few faces that I didn’t want to see and..
PAUSE! Don’t yall HATE how an amazing night can quickly be ruined by seeing one wrong face?
Ugh! Anyway, I do my best to shake it off and run into ANOTHER face that I definitely did not want to see. Once again, I shook it off as I have learned to do all too well and I took my seat. The night went on and it was filled with laughter but I felt a feeling that I had not felt in months but it was all too familiar to me.
Even though I was surrounded by some of the most amazing people, I felt completely ALONE.
Now, I don’t know how many people have felt this particular feeling but no matter how badly I want to believe it, I know that I am not the only one. 2017 has been nothing shy of eye-opening. It has been a gift that keeps on giving but I definitely haven’t liked all of these gifts. Things are finally coming together, a lot of my questions have been answered, and I’ve become a hermit (not even on my own terms). A lot of the things that used to bother me, no longer bother me but, at the same time, I’m beginning to see people for who/what they truly are. I worked so hard to teach myself to open up to others and be more trusting…only to have those very two things be the cause of my downfall.
Like I stated before, this year has been a true gift so don’t think that it’s all bad because it hasn’t been. It’s just been a year of feeling set aside but in actuality, God is setting me apart. I have been praying for some big things and there’s no way that any of that can come to fruition as long as I keep doing the same old things with the same old people. Change and growth have ALWAYS happened very rapidly in my life so I have outgrown a LOT of friends in my 21 years on this earth but I just have to remember that it’s not a bad thing. Not everything lasts forever no matter how badly we want it to. If it’s not in God’s plan for your life, then it has to go because you are here for a purpose. His purpose.
I hope this helped someone. I am a firm believer in the domino effect and all it takes is one person to make a change whether it’s large or small.
That’s all for now.
Peace & Love,