My junior year of high school I met my now ex-best friend, Melody*. Our friendship was pretty much perfect and we laughed 97% of the time we were together. Time passed, we became thick as thieves, and we truly supported each other. We liked the same music, we dated football players and spent a LOT of weekends together (shopping, going out to eat, double dates, etc.). I can still vividly remember when I brought her one of my teddy bears after she got her wisdom teeth taken out. Melody was truly my best friend and no one could tell me any different.
But everything changed my senior year when I joined the basketball team.
She was on the team her entire high school career and this was my first time playing since elementary school. Looking back on this, it was not a very well thought out decision but somehow I made the team so I assumed it was a fantastic idea. It was also the decision that ruined our friendship.
Basketball is a very physical sport and girls are sensitive so playing defense can quickly be turned into a fight between teammates. I admit. I was guilty of this myself but eventually, you learn to block all of that out. Also, there was a lot of bullying taking place on our team and I speak up about injustice BUT she considered them her “friends” so she just pretended like it wasn’t a big deal.
This was a hard pill for me to swallow because it made me wonder…
If they were bullying me, would she still just sit there and do nothing?
Then she started dealing with some pretty heavy family issues and things became pretty sporadic for her at some so I put all of that to the side and did my best to support her. She also started having relationship issues and once again, I did my best to support her but eventually I started to receive a large amount of misdirected anger so I had to take breaks from her. Sometimes I’d get back home after spending time with her and feel like garbage.
Eventually, our friendship reached its breaking point and to this day, I still can’t remember exactly what caused the final blow but
I remember being sick for about a week when it all came to an end. I beat myself up about it for a while because I have a tendency to blame myself for…EVERYTHING.
My little 18-year-old heart was broken. I lost my ride or die one month before I left for college. Almost two years pass and I wake up to this message:
I was in shock, awe, disbelief, and a tad bit angry, but most importantly: RELIEVED. I reread it 7 times. I cried. I told any and every person who would listen.
This message meant the world to me because
- It had been 2 whole years since we’ve spoken and
- She was courageous enough to send it even after I declined her friend request.
I could never pinpoint where it all went wrong but she knew and by telling me she lifted that burden off of my shoulders. God knew that I had an open wound and he was going to make sure it got taken care of. Yes, it took time but He healed me.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3 [NIV])
I said all of that to say that if you ever feel the urge to apologize for anything, even if its been years since you’ve spoken, please do it.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16 [NIV])
It may seem small or maybe even unnecessary to you but it can make a huge difference in the life of the person you’re apologizing to. It also helps you because the guilt will no longer have a hold on you and you can move forward with your own life.
Who do you need to apologize to?
Peace & Love,
*Name was changed for privacy purposes.