Forgive me.

Hello everyone & welcome back to my blog!

I’m going to get right to the point with this post and start by saying that I owe each of you an apology. I have not been 100% honest with you all and that’s not okay. I have been making all of these posts and doing my best to be Positive Polly which I am but I don’t want any of you to think that’s all I have to offer because there’s so much more to me than that.

So far this year has been full of realizations and I would like to share some of them with you all today.

  1. I don’t stick up for myself. For most of my life, I have been focusing on everybody else’s feelings and what everybody else wants me to do so I never took the time to truly figure out how I feel and what I want to do. That one piece of who I am is the main reason why I’m not quick to stick up for myself even when it’s necessary because even when people treat me terribly, I still care more about their feelings than my own and say nothing.
  2. I don’t like to dress “sexy” and show every curve on my body. Yes, I posted a few outfits on Instagram that would lead you to think differently but I was trying something. I put the outfits together, took pictures in them, and ran home to take them off because I was uncomfortable. I dressed the way I did for likes. I wanted to prove that I was fine too. I wanted people to know that I could dress sexy and get just as many likes as them if not more. But that’s not me. It worked but it didn’t give me the satisfaction I was looking for so I just deleted my Instagram page altogether and I’m starting anew. Feel free to follow my new IG: @jalisiacook.

    It’s easy to be sexy but it’s challenging to be beautiful in every way.

  3. I idolize my friendships. This one was a hard pill to swallow but after it was brought to my attention, everything started to make sense. Most girls have an issue with defending their deadbeat boyfriends and giving them a million chances. Well, that’s me with my friends and that one thing has kept me from having real, Godly friendships. I’m so busy trying to make sense of why my friend would attempt to slander my name that I’d become blind to the people that truly care about me. At this point, I certainly have a few trust issues but I’m taking everything a day at a time and I know God will heal/guide me.
  4. I act like everything is fine when it’s not. I believe a lot of us deal with this but since I now have a public platform, I am no longer going to allow myself to do that. I know I can’t stand when people get on social media and pretend so what do I look like doing the very same thing on my blog?

I want this to be a safe space where we can all share our good times along with our bad times and we can’t do that if I don’t start the trend first. Today is day one and from today forward, I PROMISE to be 110% with all of you. Please forgive me.

“You’ve got to be good yourself and fill your cup first so that you have the inner resources to be of service to others.” – Iyanla Vanzant

I dedicate the rest of my college career to me. Loving me, forgiving me, and being 100% me.

Peace & Love,

JC

 

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