Hello everyone & welcome back to The JC Effect!
I woke up this morning with a fabulous idea and I want to share it with you guys. I’ve been praying for ways to enhance my blog and make it more personal because I started to feel stagnant. I usually write these in my private journal but I’m taking a leap of faith and sharing them with you all.
A new one will be up every other week & I hope you all enjoy!
It’s been a little while since I’ve written to you so we have quite a few things to discuss. I’ve been going through the motions with you, doing what I feel I’m supposed to do as your child, and that’s really it. Our relationship has been pretty boring but I know it’s because I haven’t been in search of Your presence and that’s my mistake.
Moving on, friendship has been on my mind pretty heavily these last couple of weeks and I need your help. I went from wanting to be invited to everything to turning down every invitation I get. My trust is just worn out when it comes to people and the only person I truly trust is you because I know you will never forsake me. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a few real friends but I’ve been in a bubble with them and I know that’s not how you want me to live my life but that’s what makes me feel the safest. So I want to ask you to remove my fear of new relationships, increase my discernment, and just surround me with Godly friendships.
I was watching one of Jayla Koriyan’s vlogs and I heard her say how she joined all of these organizations on her college campus because she was looking for her niche but even after all of that, she wasn’t satisfied until she started doing what truly made her happy which included her writing a book and starting a hair company. That really made me think about my college experience and I realized I’d engulfed myself into so many organizations that I began to focus on their goals instead of my own. I truly forgot what my true purpose for attending college even was. That’s how far gone I was but maybe I was trying to find my niche but even if I was, I lost myself in the process. So here I am now, I gracefully walked away from all of my campus responsibilities and it wasn’t until weeks later I realized how stressed I’d become because of VOLUNTEER work. I learned how and when to let go because of that experience and I want to thank you for that.
The last thing I want to talk to you about today is how people don’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I know life’s not fair. I know I’m not perfect. I also know that I don’t go around intentionally hurting people and if I don’t particularly like someone, I just steer clear of them. So why is it that numerous people have come into my life just to get close to me in hopes of “ruining” me? They all leave my life eventually but they always leave abruptly instead of amicably. I don’t get it. I don’t hold grudges anymore (I’ve come a long way thanks to you) so I never return the favor and I do all I can to not speak on them anymore because they’re no longer in my life which means I no longer know them. That’s not meant to be rude at all. I’m just saying that people change every single day and will tell you whatever you want to hear so just because my used to be friend told me one thing doesn’t mean those statements still hold true now that he/she is no longer in my life. Am I making sense? I hope so. The point is: people abruptly leave my life after doing ME wrong and start trying to put dirt on my name. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of giving love and getting hate in return BUT I won’t let the actions of others stop be from doing what you’ve called me to do which is to:
“Love one another,” (John 13:34 [MSG])
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44 [NIV])
And with that, I will just continue to ask you to not allow my heart to be hardened by the world around me and please help me on my journey to forgiveness.
Thank you for always blessing me even though I don’t deserve it.